Episode 21


People often ask me why I tell this story. Just last month I gave another lecture about it, this time to a predominantly straight audience. I showed my colleagues in the video editing course best of my work as an illustrator and explained a lot of the background. We also conducted and recorded an interview, both is in the rough editing phase. After that I will finally produce my first professional porn for OnlyFans.

“Explain to us clueless heteros how does it work in your scene.“ – “It’s best to ask me anything that interests you.” – “Who is the woman and who is the man?” – “It’s getting really bad for us now, like it is for you straight people. We have top and bottom, do you even know that?” – “And how does this role game work?” – “Actually, everyone can be both. But most guys choose one direction.” – ”And what are you?” – “I’m mostly top, which is great luck. In Vienna there are almost only bottoms and very few tops or vers.” – “Why are there so many bottoms?” – „Nobody knows. Probably because the weather is so bad in Austria, or maybe because many men are simply stressed by their masculine role at work.” – “They just want to be served sometimes.” – “At least that’s what they have in mind.” – “So you live in paradise, all you have to do is harvest.” – „It’s hilarious, but very complicated. That’s why I want to share my story.“  

After a little applause, the chat continued during the break. Nobody was shocked, even though I talked uninhibitedly without warning and showed explicit content. A colleague confessed that he wanted to punch me in the face when I came out. Instead, he laughed and admired my childlike enthusiasm. “Take a look at the Museum of Military History. A costume like Emperor Franz Joseph would go well with your schnauzer.“

The better I get to know my colleagues, the more I feel like an alien. I realized that most straight people don’t separate sex and relationships as strictly as we do. They don’t even separate lust and love like most of us. There are many more facets, also between friendship and relationship. 

For many, the basic shape of the triangle works. Mother, father, child. The family model that is a clear line. The principle of multiplication, as in economics. Although we have been allowed to adopt a child since 2015, I only know a few couples who are stable enough.

Finding your individual happiness is perhaps the meaning of life. The ideal state where you are in harmony with yourself and the outside world.

I’ll tell you more about how I try to do it.