It’s the first time in ages that I can enjoy silence. For a few moments out of this madness. I relax in the steam room and let my thoughts drift, surrounded by a futuristic mosaic in style of Gustav Klimt. I’m naked like always lately but I don’t need to be just a functioning body, I can also be a human with a soul. At least when I’m for myself and not in the crowd.
Earlier I saw an elderly woman walking down the street and just for a millisecond I thought she was my mother. This feeling of great joy that came over me, you know that? The joy of reunion. A flash of pure love. Like a yellow light entering you as a blazing flame.
But there is no yellow in this world.
Cool colors only, suppressed feelings. My mother died last year all of a sudden. She’s gone forever, simply wiped out. Like a cloud of vapor dissipating into thin air. Her eyes were blue-grey, bright and opaque at the same time. Her favorite dress was patterned in different shades of blue, silky shiny. So glamorous that only an empress would dare to wear it. She was a beautiful ice queen. I think she would fit into this world very well, maybe better than into the real one.
One day I will tell you more about the color logic in my world.